Wednesday, July 10, 2013

How to: Handle a Sociopath

My S used to make jokes about "training" people all the time. He liked to try and help people to become what he thought they should be. And for the most part, who he wanted them to be was a better version of themselves. He was good at it and as he says , he was "changing lives".

If you are an E and you love an S and want to keep your S happy, here are a few pointers for how to "manage" them. You will not get them to change, but it will help you to stop the arguing and help you to deal better with the ways of a true S and to enjoy who your S truly is.

  • Don't accuse them of anything. An S does not like to be confronted or accused of anything they have done. Even if it's refutable and true, they will deny it. Accusing them only makes them angry (or amused), which will only frustrate you.
  • Don't share your personal experiences with your S with anyone. Not their family, not your friends and definitely not friends of your S. They like to keep private things private and if they have allowed you into their secretive world, they expect you to keep everything to yourself.
  • Don't start drama. If you are fighting with your S, refer to #2. Don't go around telling people. Your S will find out, they are smart and they know exactly what an E will do. If you start drama, you look stupid and they get angry. 
  • Don't demand anything of an S. They like to be in control. Always. You may think you are standing up for your manhood or womanhood, but in reality, you are trying to get some control because you are scared to lose your S. Find a way to suggest something you want your S to do or do for you and make it seem like their idea.
  • Have lots of sex. An S loves sex and they don;t care all the time who it comes from. So put out as much as possible and do your best not to freak out if you find out your S has been with someone else. It has nothing to do with you not does it mean your S doesn't love you.
  • Role play with your S. One of the coolest and scariest things about an S is that they can become anything that want to be. They like to have the choice of different lives, so cater to that. Change up who you are so that they are constantly guessing. It will keep the attention of your S.
  • Take care of yourself. You are not the most important person to your S, they are the most important person in their lives. They will love you, even for just a time, but when they leave, you cannot fall apart. You have to start taking care of yourself now.

1 comment:

  1. I just found your blog and much of what you write is interesting.
    But, you really are insane. Some things simply are not sustainable, and a relationship with a real sociopath is one of those things in life.
    What you describe is submission to slavery, not something adults with basic self-respect can manage.
    While I respect everyone's right to make choices, you are deluding yourself that it is not painful to be invalidated and treated as an object, as sociopaths tend to do.
    After reading several of your article, I really think you are lying to yourself about what you can handle.