Are you the Perfect Target?

I am a fan of the following blog, it seems to offer good resources for those dealing with psycho/socio/narc behavior. I do have another post that talks about being easy prey for a Socio, but I find the following list from Thomas Sheridan to be even more comprehensive. Does this sound like you?

Are You the Perfect Target for a Psychopath?

• Do you feel incomplete without a ‘soul mate’?

• Do you hide a sense of low self-esteem or hurt behind an outgoing and confident exterior due to a past emotional trauma that you keep to yourself?

• Do you believe that there is ‘someone special’ out there just for you and do you let people know what kind of person this would be?

• Do you believe in ‘love at first sight'?

• Do you have a large disposable income?

• Are you generally independent and self-supporting?

• Do you have any special talent or ability which may bring you fame and wealth one day?

• Do you think deeply about everyone and everything except yourself?

• Are you a single parent longing for a completed family?

• Are you the kind of person who would get out of your car to help an elderly or handicapped person with their groceries?

• Did you lose a young child, or are you presently estranged from your children due to divorce or do you have a deep-rooted unfulfilled desire to raise and nurture a child of your own?

• Do you always give other people the benefit of the doubt at first?

• Are you humbly unaware of your own special talents and abilities?

• Are you an educated recent immigrant with a degree or professional background and not yet fully aware of all the subtle cultural intricacies of your newly adopted country?

• Are you living alone in a house in which the mortgage is fully paid off?

• Do you have a strong desire to love and be loved?

• Do you have a history of rescuing stray and injured animals?

• Did you have a parent who was an alcoholic or a drug addict?

• Are you very sensitive to emotional external stimuli, such as hearing certain music, or viewing a certain art work which can bring you to tears?

• Were you in the military as a young person?

• Did one or both of your parents die when you were a child or were you raised in a foster home or orphanage?

• Were you abused, neglected, unloved by a parent/parents as a child?

• Are you financially responsible, solvent and secure, such as a stable employment position/regular long-term pay cheque with a government pension/full military pension?

• Do you believe there is a hidden force which affects your life to some degree and do you embrace this concept?

• Are you recently widowed, divorced or currently in a difficult relationship?

• When you are hurt emotionally, is it a deep, intense hurt?

Why a Socio Will Always Cheat

Remember my Sociopath friend, N? We had an interesting email exchange not too long ago. He sent me a link to an article that he knew I would like and we started an exchange about Socios and why they cheat on their partners. Here's what went down.

Empath Queen:
Do you do it because you get bored? Do you remember having the conversation with me when I said that I would be ok with my husband/boyfriend sleeping with other people as long as he was using a condom and not potentially bringing a disease home to me and not creating relationships with these people? Just sex. Nothing else. I am reading that a lot of ASPD/Socio/Narc seem to think this is a great idea, however, they say they would still rather pretend to be exclusive with each of the people they are in a "relationship" with. That's interesting...even when given a way out of monogamy, they would still prefer to live the lie.

N:
I think some of it is boredom. In large part it's sincere though - I just get strong impulses and crave sex from a particular woman I may have discarded or at least put on the backburner. Sometimes they give it to me, sometimes they don't.

The impulse can last for a few minutes to a few weeks.

Also ASPD and sociopathy aren't synonymous.

http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/antisocial-personality-disorder/psychopathy-and-antisocial-personality-disorder-case-diagnostic-confusion-0

In fact, I'm still not even clear on the division between sociopathy and psychopathy... in DSM-IV they're synonymous but the DSM is generally acknowledged as crap. Mixed usage among other resources

I see what you're saying, but that's probably not the way a sociopath would see it. It's about dominance and control - "I" can cheat and fuck whoever I want, but my partner can't

Also the "open relationship" you're describing sounds nice. No doubt if a woman would offer me that, I would probably stay with her (assuming she interests and attracts me otherwise of course) for a long time.

But you can't put much faith in the sustainability of that. A real psychopath isn't going to care about the caveats (wear a condom; don't form a relationship; etc.)

They may tell you they are abiding by the rules, but at the end of the day, psychopaths abhor rules and feel above them - no matter where the rules are coming from.

I think the thing to note here in all its fullness is that no matter what you do (myself included), there will never be monogamy in your relationship with your S. No matter how hard you or they try. Their impulse seems to always be stronger than any sort of attachment they may have to you. Just some food for though my dearies.
Oh, and just to clarify,  I don't think that socios/psychos/narcs and any other personality disorder are the same thing. I just find that the traits overlap to some extent so I tend to group them together from time to time when talking about a topic that I see overlapping in each disorder.

Book Review: Psychopath Free

I like to read about the encounters others have had with a Sociopath/Psychopath/Narcissist/Bi-Polar/ASPD and the many many other types of personality disorders there are out there. I don't know if it's because there's a part of me that wants to know how they finally overcame the relationship or because I am just slightly obsessed with these types of things.

Probably a little of both.

At any rate, I downloaded Psychopath Free, by a person who simply refers to themselves as "Peace". The book is only mildly interesting. I found that it focused mainly on blaming the psycho (general term here) for everything that happened and generalizes way too much. The author assumes that every empath goes through the same healing process and monsterizes psychopaths/sociopaths/narcissists more than necessary in order to deflect from the empath taking any responsibility for their actions.

I got quite an eyeful from other reviewers after I posted my review on Amazon. So many comments accusing me of not knowing what it's really like and again victimizing themselves for what someone else did to them.

Look, I get it. socios can be damaging for a multitude of reasons. But never looking within to see why you were such an easy prey is a far more crippling issue. You can be the victim for the rest of your life or you can learn from the mistakes you've made, pick yourself up and find true happiness from within and be stronger the next time a relationship presents itself.

I didn't like the book and I would really hesitate to recommend it to anyone looking to find healing.

Online Test: Are you a Sociopath?

I have seen a few online self tests and find this to be the most comprehensive if you are interested in either taking the test for yourself or you want to vicariously take the test for your S (or supposed S).

Self Test: Antisocial, Psychopathy and Narcissistic and Histronic Personality Disorders