I like to read about the encounters others have had with a Sociopath/Psychopath/Narcissist/Bi-Polar/ASPD and the many many other types of personality disorders there are out there. I don't know if it's because there's a part of me that wants to know how they finally overcame the relationship or because I am just slightly obsessed with these types of things.
Probably a little of both.
At any rate, I downloaded Psychopath Free, by a person who simply refers to themselves as "Peace". The book is only mildly interesting. I found that it focused mainly on blaming the psycho (general term here) for everything that happened and generalizes way too much. The author assumes that every empath goes through the same healing process and monsterizes psychopaths/sociopaths/narcissists more than necessary in order to deflect from the empath taking any responsibility for their actions.
I got quite an eyeful from other reviewers after I posted my review on Amazon. So many comments accusing me of not knowing what it's really like and again victimizing themselves for what someone else did to them.
Look, I get it. socios can be damaging for a multitude of reasons. But never looking within to see why you were such an easy prey is a far more crippling issue. You can be the victim for the rest of your life or you can learn from the mistakes you've made, pick yourself up and find true happiness from within and be stronger the next time a relationship presents itself.
I didn't like the book and I would really hesitate to recommend it to anyone looking to find healing.
Bipolar Disorder most certainly is NOT a personality disorder. It is an Axis 1 diagnosis.
ReplyDeleteIn the instance if this book, the writer claims them to be in the same category. So for that sake, I wrote the review as such.
DeleteOmg ! Exactly my words and my experience !
ReplyDeleteI was a meber of their "damn site, and let me tell you, this is the exact attitude all over there. "Oh Poor Me, Oh the Evil Psychopath " ! I even GOT BANNED !! LOL
If I were new to recovery that would get to me. But I`m not. I`m a survivor of a toxic N family. I have had relationships with Narcisists, and been a member of various sites of recovery before finding this..Peace self proclaimed "Psychopath Free " thing.
I have been attacked by their "Expert" Admins, that by the way, not only that they do not bother to answer to peoples stories and requests for help (the threads can linger for weeks ), but they "take care" to BAN members, because something seems "wrong" about the way of expression.
I had interesting discussion with members, and clear posts, with assertive and clear ideas of recovery..and Practical too ! Not "stories", not "oh poor me, thing" !
And if you go now, there are still members answering to those threads !
They are so dumb, close minded and judgemental ! They have this Hate and Frustration that all Men are Narcisistic lol . And I laughed about this, and told them that at some point you have to realise you were not perfect either, eitherway you will spend all your life in this "Victim Phase"" !
But to pick up and Ban people because they bring Positivity, Strength and Clear Posts and Articles, that I haven`t seen until now, lol !
I have been a member of other sites, have practical experience of years and then soon to be even certified . I even said I wanted to help. Their response ? BAN !loool
Patethic Site ran by Patethic people. I wetn to their Facebook page after and made them a show to remember, and told them "By what criteria do they choose these "Expert" Admins, that don`t even have the decency to give an explanation for this behaviour."
You wanna be assertive and strong, and ACTUALLY move on in your life ??Nooo, stay away from that Site ! Any excerpt of actual measure of Happiness and Positive Changes will be severely "punished" by lazy Admins of the site, together with the pinky Gay Guy who wrote the Book (speaking of Weird ) !
I have given much more back to that Site than their Admins, and they BAN me lol ! But I guess that offering my practical steps for FREE , then members would see no point on buying, the "HEALING HOLY" book of the gay guy Peace .
Pfft..patethic. Stay away from that site . Not only that they are a group of small minded individuals , who reject any assertive step , but they proclaim themselves "open" and "experts" when their stories and articles have nothing new, they are just re-written stories, by their members like you and me .
I am not new to recovery, but I still found their behaviour very rude. And plain Dumb ! They wanna remain in their Frustrated little circle of friends ?/ They can .
I`m just sorry because there were members I actually had some interesting talks with .
But it`s a Patethic site, meant to keep people in a Victim-State, so that you can go to the Healing book of the gaylord Peace, and give money money .
:D
Cheers, I`m glad I`m not the only one who noticed the fishiness of PF. There are other Banned members too, I bet they have stories to tell .
Maybe you were banned for being a massive homophobe.
DeletePathetic that you spell pathetic as patethic, Thomas.
ReplyDeleteI was also a member of PF and for stating an opinion that not everyone with bad behavior is a psychopath I was actually insulted "called a jerk" by one of the admins (!) and "Peace" made an incredibly immature comment. I asked for my account to be closed but at least I exposed the Mods and Peace for the people they truly are - and I also believe they want to keep people in victim mode - more members, more publicity, more money. BTW I read his Book PF. The first half is great. Contains practical info. The second half is some self indulgent in the clouds empty crap about .. well it's difficult to remember because it had no substance. Stay away from P unless you want to wallow in self pity.
ReplyDeleteMy experience was very similar. As a new member, you feel safe to to discuss sensitive matters openly; it feels welcoming, non-judgemental and seems to offer uncoditional support.There is no overt nastiness to start with. Behind the scenes, members and staff analyse each other. Actually, members report each other for ''offences'' such as keeping in contact with their presumed psychopathic ex, so a moderator can ''discipline'' the offender. Then they all gang up on that person. Jonestown, anyone...? Also, a moderator was trying to assess whether a member was really suffering, while another thought a member was ''in a very good mood for someone who had been victimised''. It's amazing, really, to imagine that adults would take such attitudes from other adults.
ReplyDeleteI read your Amazon review and the comments; there was such hypocrisy from a PF moderator who stressed the importance of peer support; is that taken into account when they ban members so abruptly and for no reason, cutting them off from said support? Of course not; they don't give a toss about memers' wellbeing, as they do about their egos, authority etc. Besides, they behave as if they provided actual therapy; as if the forum played a central role in members' healing - yet when they discard them it's a case of dismissing the impact that can have.
There's all this talk about their mission, group cohesion, recovery strategy etc. To my knowledge they are not qualified in helping people deal with trauma; all they provide is a platform to vent on and connect with others in a similar situation. All their little rules on what can be discussed and how recovery should be approached came out of thin air; there is no basis to them. For instance, people who think they are codependent cannot express that there. They think anyone who deviates from their made-up orthodoxy is toxic to other members and is a ''trouble-maker''. To my knowledge only two types of people are so exclusive and paranoid: political extremists and cults. You have to be paranoid to see a threat in totally innocent people who simply disagree with you. Obviously, there are good people there, but the forum itself is a toxic place posing as a safe haven for those who are vulnerable. It's moral fraud in my opinion.
To members who wonder why they were banned from PF without warning... You were probably on their Gestapo list and didn't even know it. I assume some of you missed the thread entitled ''Reporting Sketchy Members'', on the Site Announcements area. I surely did. Here is the quote (I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post links and won't chance it). Please marvel at this supreme proof of wisdom and fairness, not to mention compassion for abuse victims, from the guru they all praise:
ReplyDelete''Just wanted to write a quick notice about the safety culture we want to cultivate here.
If you ever have any suspicions about a member, our policy is "better reported than not". A huge part of the healing process is learning to trust your intuition. Here at PF, just like everywhere else in life, you are going to continue to encounter toxic people.
You should never brush aside your gut feeling about someone, as that's how we end up "dancing the dance", when really the person should just be shown the door. So please if you ever feel uneasy about a member, do not hesitate to use our reporting features to tell us. Because if you're feeling suspicious, the odds are you're not alone.
You will never be punished or judged for reporting someone who turns out to be genuine. We take all reports seriously. Mistakes happen, although I honestly have never seen this. Member reports are usually 100% on board with our own suspicions. Please understand that safety is always being assessed here, even if it's not visible. Even if you see a thread going on where you can't believe the member hasn't been banned yet. Trust me, they are on our radar.'' Peace
You can become a target of their paranoia just based on someone's ''gut feeling'' that they dislike you. That's all it takes. You don't have to do anything at all. You may be under ''investigation'' even if no one has confronted you. You naively continue to tell them your intimate stories while they analyse you on a whim, in total secrecy, without warning you at all.
He presumes from the start that targeted – pardon me, suspected – members are guilty of trolling or some hidden agenda. They have to prove themselves to be genuine. This is unheard of in any decent online community. It is a wasp nest masquerading as a recovery forum. Nobody knows what they're getting into when they land there by chance.
The so-called atmosphere of love and mutual trust is in fact constant paranoia and the constant risk of becoming fodder for someone's delusions. It's beyond disgusting. I wish there was a way to stop these people or at least vocally raise awareness about such ''safe havens''.
As I noticed the discussion on Amazon continues to this day and a few people are very interested in this matter, I thought I might try to post a link to this new blog about the dangers of recovery forums, https://bewareofrecoveryforums.wordpress.com/2015/06/26/lifeline-or-mental-trap-can-you-afford-to-gamble/ . I haven't purchased any items on Amazon so I can't post it there, although that's where the main discussion is. Hopefully someone who is interested will come across it some day and will have a look.
ReplyDeleteI'm another member that was banned. My crime?
ReplyDeleteKnowing more than the moderators and other members, therefore making me a know-it-all. Being learned in the subject is apparently a very threatening thing.
You guys are full of crap. I've been a member of that site for 2 years. If you can't follow the rules that you agreed to, it's no wonder you were ban. So many falsehood in these responses.
ReplyDeleteThe banned me becase I wrote that I got my revenge (not somethig harsh, but, yes, I got it) and that this made me recover for ot more than 3 months. I even feel guilty for the guy who broke my heart, but I really shouldn't. I told them that staying in this condition of victim mentalty for 20 years wasn't good for them. They started bashing me that revenge wasn't good and stuff like that, but I really didn't even do it on purpose!
ReplyDeleteA girl was crying that her ex didn't want her and I just wrote she should keep her head high and make her ex jealous (a little jealousy is healty and maybe he would realize he missed her and get back together).
She was harassing him and he cut her off completely. If it didn't work, at least he would've seen she moved on and stop calling her crazy.
What did I say??? Why did those bat-shit crazy nutcases feel so threatened?
Are you supposed to cry hidden in the corner for years? Jesus! I told them I was a fighter and would pla fire with fire - my ex made me jealous and replaced me and I made him think I did the same shortly after. These people said that this was game playing and how could I say something like that...
Maybe there are normal people there, but most of these members (for years, you get the picture) are complete nutcases. I've read so many retarded opinions there. It's not normal to teach people to stay in victim mode for years. Life is short, don't ever play with people's feelings for your personal gain!