The S is back.

As you can see, my posts have started to decrease. This is because my sweet S has been back for a couple of months now and he completely consumes my time. I allow him to.

That and my posts are sometimes fueled when I am upset by him.

At any rate, I told you all he would be back, and he is. I know him extremely well.

He's lost interest in whatever person or thing he was obsessively into for a few weeks and now things are back to normal. He's calling and texting a lot and we have had a lot of sex.

See, he still has no idea that I know about anything he has been up to. I know so much more than he's ever thought possible for me to know, but it's more important for me to be with the man I love than to be right, so there you have it.

Before you other empaths start shaking your heads, you all do it too. You turn a blind eye to the things you don't want to deal with and you move on.

The ratio of the good that my darling S provides as opposed to the sometimes bad is still much higher. If a any moment it becomes the other way around, I will have to walk away.

And maybe this is the part I learned from the S I love so dearly: when things no longer benefit you, get the hell out.

Again, we all do it, empath and socio alike. We change careers, cities, friends, clothes and houses all the time because we see something better. More money, a flashier car, a new environment, etc etc.

Maybe we aren't so different after all?

Sociopaths: Why We Love to Hate Them

Empaths are notorious for wanting to blame circumstances in their loves on someone else, and while we're at it, so are Sociopaths, but for different reasons.

E's are hyper sensitive, emotional, co-dependent, whiny individuals who like to not only dump their trash (ie: emotions) onto other people. It makes them feel better to have someone to share their pain with.

This is why it is so easy for so many Empath's to blame everything on a Socio. Heck, a lot of E's start saying their ex was a Socio without there ever being real evidence of that or even a hint of a diagnosis. It's become a popular trendy term for Empaths to use to try and make themselves look less stupid for getting hurt.

Socio's become the dumping ground for your failures as a person. And every E is looking for a scapegoat so they don't have to take responsibility for their failures or their life in general.

Settle down, E's, stop getting your feelings hurt, I'm actually going somewhere with this.

It's easier to blame your issues and problems on another person. Especially an S. We all know that they are selfish and uncaring. Your S probably used you to get money, a job, a place to live, access to a higher social status, and on and on. They are predators. You were prey.

But.

Maybe, just maybe you have some issues of your own that were the cause of you allowing your S to take advantage of you.

Most E's lack in self worth. They think they are ugly, stupid and they KNOW they are emotionally a lot to handle. So when you find a lovely S who tells you everything you ever wanted to ear and puts your fears to rest, it becomes like a drug. You want to hold onto this feeling forever, so you do whatever it takes to keep them. You mortgage your house, you co-sign on a lease, you buy them a car, you support them. All because you don;t want to be alone.

So, it's fine. Blame your Socio a little. But before you go down the victim path too far, figure out why it is that YOU have the problems you have. Deal with them.

Blaming your S will not help you.It will make you look foolish for not letting it go. And let's face it, if they've left you, they don't give a damn about what you think about them anyway.

Move on. Figure out what YOU need to do and stop trying to change your S. Either appreciate them exactly for who they are or walk the hell away and fix yourself.

Can an Empath be just as bad as a Socio?

Two words: Hell YES.

Here's the thing. I am a tried and true, overly emotional empath. When I get pissed...I get pissed. Especially if I am dealing with someone who has hurt a family member or close friend (or my S). I will literally want to rip your head off and I would feel fully justified in doing so because the other person would be the monster.

Sounds pretty bad right?

Tell me, how is this any different than the malicious acts we accuse Socios of doing?

Don;t get me wrong, I am not in any way condoning murder, rape, etc etc etc. Let's not get Socio's mixed up with Psycho's or any other form of personality disorder. I am talking about harmless, everyday, run of the mill Socio's who enjoy manipulating and conning people who are stupid enough to be conned.

E's lie just as much as an S. We just aren't as good at it. We hide things just as much, but we usually get caught or tell on ourselves. We harm others in the same way, we just find a way to blame our actions on someone else.

Maybe we aren't that much unlike after all. We just feel guiltier and have that pesky remorse to deal with.

Characteristics of an Empath.

Alright, so I focus a lot on Socios on this website. I love my S, he fascinates me, therefore his condition fascinates me.

But maybe you Empath's want to know what others see you as. Fine.

Here is a pretty comprehensive list. I shudder at the thought of an entire world full of E's. Not because we aren't incredibly loyal and loving...but because someone has to keep us in line. That's where having an S comes in.

If you're an E, how many of these do you match up with?

• Need for praise and positive affirmation
• Difficulty leaving a bad relationship.
• Focus on good memories even when things are no longer good.
• Compassionate and forgiving towards others but not to self.
• May tend to romanticize qualities in their partner that don't actually exist
• Naturally understand the insecurities of others and do whatever necessary to encourage them.
• Interested overwhelmingly so in the needs of others.
• Difficulty communicating concerns or issues for fear that you will not be liked.
• High respect and loyalty for their partners, often ignoring flaws and focusing only on their best qualities
• You must love someone in order to have sex with them.
• Unaware of toxic influences and unknowingly welcome them into your life.
• Interested in long term relationships or soul mates.
• Extremely loyal and trusting even of those who have proven to be untrustworthy.
• May put self down in order to compensate for partner's insecurities or shortcomings.
• Feels the greatest degree of happiness when making others happy.
• Warmly enthusiastic about animals and children.
• Fascinated by battles of good vs evil. Justice and truth seekers.
• Surprising contrast between apparent external submissiveness and actual internal strength
• You want harmony, love and peace in all situations.
• Idealistic, romantic, and imaginative
• Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism.

What You Can Learn from a Socio.

Socios are incredibly talented, intellectual, charming and conning. Their traits are a combination of the best things in life, all wrapped up into one.

An S is unstoppable. They don't care what anyone else thinks.

So, how can you apply some of these characteristics to your life as an emotionally drained and raining Empath?

• Stop caring what others think about you. If you have a dream, idea, vision, hope...DO IT. With reckless abandon. 
• Become obsessed with the above until you see it come to fruition.
• Looking for a job? Fake it until you make it. Display a level of confidence you don;t have. Trust me.
• Stop taking things to heart. So, your best friends husband said you've gained a lot of weight. Who the hell cares? Who is he to you?
• Make yourself as visually appealing as possible.
• Study people. Figure out who they respond to situations, how they handle stress, use this as a way to communicate properly with them. You'll get along great with everyone.
• Stop always doing things to make other people happy. You are the first person that needs to be taken care of before you possibly think about caring for anyone else. Love yourself, be a little selfish.