Recently, my S and I had a conversation about secrets. Probably the biggest challenge that we face as an S+E couple is that he likes to keep secrets and I like to know things.
Not just things about him or what he's doing, mind you. In the same way that most people like to hear Hollywood gossip or those who frequently pull out their iphone to google a movie fact. I like having knowledge and information at my fingertips in an instant.
My dear S does not ascribe to the same idea as I do. He doesn't care to tell anyone his information and unless it can help him in some way, he doesn't really care to know the business of others either.
I have a lot of questions for my S, for a couple of reasons:
1. I like learning more about sociopathic behavior and he is my accessible real life case study.
2. I like to know what's going on in his life. (Yes, partially because there is a side of me that wonders why he still does some of the things he does).
During this conversation, I was asking him why he constantly shuts his phone off entirely when we are together. It isn't something he used to do, so the new behavior has me curious as to what he could be hiding from me. His response was that I am the person he most talks to/texts so when we a re together he doesn't need his phone on.
Being the nosy little E I can sometimes be, I asked more questions: but what if your dad or another family member needed to reach you for an emergency and your phone is off? What if your PO is trying to reach you and thinks you have skipped town? Do you have people calling or texting that you don't want me to know about?
Little my dear E's, don;t do what I do (did). It irritated him and I never got the answers to my questions. The only thing I got was that he doesn't tell me things sometimes simply to protect me. Protect me from what I wonder...being emotionally hurt if one of his current conquests calls or texts him...being in legal trouble...etc etc.
Who knows. But I wonder if all Socios say or think the same way. They know they are doing things that could potentially hurt themselves but they don't see any reason to needlessly involve other people or potentially injure the innocent.