You met your S, you fell in love, everything seemed perfect, he/she was everything you ever dreamed (and more), you were happier than you had ever been...
Then your S disappeared or perhaps wasn't as good at hiding things anymore and you found out the truth.
You got angry, you couldn't believe this was happening, your dreams were dashed, you were furious, you were confused...
But ultimately, you just wanted your S back.
I get it. I've been there.
Your S became everything that he/she knew you wanted and needed. your vulnerabilities were exposes and manipulated to the extreme. You can;t help but think that you will never be happy with anyone else the way you were happy with your S.
And that's probably true.
And that is the key to why it is so hard to let go. You remember the good times.
So how do you get past this?
1. Recognize that the person you knew doesn't really exist.
2. Figure out why you don't believe you are worth anything (and this is a big one, especially if your S has stolen from you, put your life or your child's life in danger, etc.
3. Do something for you.Join a gym, take up a hobby, go out with friends. Get your mind off of the situation.
4. Write down all the things your S did to you and read them out loud to yourself. Imagine that a friend told you this exact story about them, what would your advice be to them? Take it.
5. Give it time: Time truly does heal all wounds. Take it a day at a time, or a week at a time.
6. Don't make major life decisions while you are hurt.
7. Trust yourself.
8. See a professional counselor/therapist who knows about sociopaths.
9. Do not for any reason contact your S. You will look needy. Let it go and hold onto the little shred of dignity you have. Use a mediator or a lawyer to communicate if you must.
My blog is specifically dedicated to my S, how I handle things with him and why I choose to stay with him.
But I realize not everyone has that option. I have gotten tons of questions from you all asking how to get past your hurt, so this is for you.
Good luck and Godspeed my dear E's.