So, along with the influx of emails asking how to get over the love of their life, their S, I have also gotten a lot of questions on how to get your S back.
While I can tell you what worked for me, I cannot guarantee that it will work for you. It's worth a shot though, right? It truly did work for me. My wonderful, sweet S and I are happy and going strong.
** As a disclaimer, if your S has physically or sexually abused you or someone you know, stolen from you, put your life in danger, is involved in criminal activity etc etc. Walk away. Do NOT try to get your S back. Try to get your life together, for the love of God.
Now, for the rest of you...
First things first:
You have to go no contact.
I know. It sucks. The only way you feel better is to hear the sweet voice of your S or get any type of response from your S.
Believe me, I get it.
Here's why no contact is so vital: You need to try to become interesting to your S again, which means you have got to become another person (or a much much more exciting and confident version of yourself).
By going no contact, a few things happen:
1. You don't look like a needy little puppy. And trust me, socio or not, NO ONE likes a needy puppy.
2. You give your S time to forget the crazy/stupid/mean/unintelligent/needy things you did when they left you.
3. You have some time to get your ass to the gym. And c'mon, let's be real, you probably aren't eating because you're upset, so that will be a good way to jump start to your weight loss until the appetite comes back.
4. You gain some perspective on who you are and what you need from this or any relationship. If the benefit isn't much higher than the torment, you need to do some self evaluation.
No contact NEEDS to happen for two weeks. No excuses. Two weeks will fly by (even if it doesn't feel like it right now, it will). Two weeks is nothing but a little blip of time.
Do not contact your S. At all. NADA. No texts, emails, phone calls, accidental run in's at the grocery, none of this, oops I texted/called the "wrong person" crap, etc.
Even if your S tries to contact you, you MUST stay strong. Do not respond to anything.
Two weeks, that's all. You got this. The end goal is getting your S back, the beginning to this journey is going to be going MIA for two weeks.
If you screw up three days in, you start over.