Recently, my S and I had a little situation where the possibility of an std came up for me. To be completely fair, I don't know if I had one for sure. My doctor is really cool, and I think she may have felt a little bad for me...the bottom line is that it was either chlamydia or a horrible bacterial infection so she prescribed me a z-pack and said to let her know if it didn't clear up in three days and we would do a blood test.
I didn't push for anymore testing for a few reasons, the extra lab fees I didn't want to pay,the fact that the z-pack would probably work just fine and the best one: I didn't really want to know if it was the std.
Here's the thing, I know that my darling S is not able to be nailed down to sex with me only. It's a reality I had to accept not long into our relationship. It's not something we discuss, but we both know that i know.
Now, I have to admit, part of me wants to scream and yell at him and ask him why he would ever put me at risk. But as I have
I explained that I realize that we operate differently and that while I would never sleep with anyone else I don't expect him to uphold that on his end. My only three requests are:
- That he cannot be in relationships with any other women. Meaning that if it is sex only, then I get that, but that I don't want him investing into anyone else.
- That he wears a condom and gets checked for STDs on a regular basis for my health if not his own.
- That he never tells me about it. I do believe that what I don't know can't hurt me (especially if he adheres to rule #2.
I'm pretty sure that I shocked him. He said that he was really impressed by how I handled the situation and that if it was possible, he loved me even more because of it.
Maybe I'm crazy for being open enough to give him the ok on this, or maybe I am incredibly smart for giving my S the freedom he really craves while showing him that I am not worried about other women.
Bottom line: I know my wonderful, sexy S loves me. I really do. He knows that I am devoted to him entirely and that he is my world. Our little world works for us.
Maybe you can't fathom doing this. Maybe you are feeling sorry for me because I should have more self worth.
I have exactly what I want. My incredible, amazing and loving S.